


Two Can Play at That Game

by sladeninstitute



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sexual Intercourse, No Angst, Post-Five Year Mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-24
Updated: 2014-02-24
Packaged: 2018-01-13 14:53:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1230556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sladeninstitute/pseuds/sladeninstitute
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim and Bones have finally moved in together and everything's supposed to be peachy. The only problem? They've got neighbours from hell that don't understand that you're supposed to be quiet once the sun goes down. Jim comes up with a plan to get back at them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Can Play at That Game

_3 AM is not the time for this shit,_  Bones thinks as the walls start shaking and the singing voice on the other side of the wall gets even louder. He and Jim have been living here for six weeks and this happens every damn night. The college age kids in the apartment next to them have no idea of what quiet time means, and since the building manager won't do anything about it, they seem to be stuck. Every night they're kept up until the damn sun rises and the music stops, and both of them are suffering for it.

Bones remembers when they first moved in. They'd just finished their first five year mission and were talking about taking a year off before doing anything else out in space. This was the place of their dreams. Spacious rooms, lots of natural light, hardwood floors, all the works. The building manager promised that they'd love it. And they did, for all of six hours. By the time they fell into bed on that first night after moving in, they were exhausted. All they wanted was a good night's sleep. And then the  _fucking_  music started. It wasn't even a progressive thing, it was silent one moment and then the walls were shaking with drum and bass a moment later. They both sat there in bed and hoped that it would go away, but it didn't. It kept going and going, an unending reminder that they were never going to get any sleep.

Jim went over there first. He politely knocked and explained their situation, asking if they could please turn it down. He got the door slammed in his face. When he came back and relayed the encounter to Bones, he looked like he was about to cry. Sleep deprivation made Jim emotional. Bones wasn't having it. He pulled on a shirt and a pair of pajama pants, and went round. He beat his fist on the door and started hollering until someone answered. Bones threatened the two young men with a list of medical things that he could (and  _would_ ) do to them if they didn't turn down the music. By the gift of God, that got them to turn off the damn music. Bones thought it was the end of it. They went to bed and slept until the late afternoon. They hoped that their neighbours would be a trifle more considerate in future.

Unfortunately, those hopes were dashed the next night. The music was back at the same time, and even louder. Jim buried his face in a pillow and started sobbing. He just wanted to sleep. Knowing that they couldn't do jack shit about it, Bones pulled Jim into his arms and tried to get him to calm down. They fell asleep as soon as the music came to a halt around five, still wrapped up in each other's arms.

– – –

“I've got a plan, Bones.” Jim looks up from his plate of bacon and has that shit-eating smirk that usually makes Bones uneasy. It's week six of this neverending hell and they're both running on fumes. No sleep is making them grouchy and it's affecting their performance at work and in bed. A plan, however, is just what Bones wants to hear about right now.

“A plan, huh? About what?”

“A way to get back at those assholes beside us.”

“Jim, I already told you. I'm not gonna actually harm those people. It goes against my oath.” Jim looks mock offended.

“S'nothing like that, Bones! In fact, I think you'll like what I've got planned.”

“Are you actually gonna tell me, or are you gonna sit there and look pleased with yourself?”

“Both. But before we do this, we need to find out when these people sleep.” Jim leans across the table and starts whispering conspiratorially, almost like he's afraid the world will hear if he speaks any louder.

A grin crosses Bones' face.

– – –

They've finally gotten the sleep schedule of their neighbours down. It's taken a few weeks of closely watching, listening, and going over and pretending to need something from them to figure it all out. They sleep in the morning and early afternoon after hours of partying and blasting music at night.

Today, Jim and Bones are climbing into bed at just the same time, although they're not going to be sleeping. They're going to be fucking, and they're gonna do it like they used to on the Enterprise. That means screaming, moaning, and the headboard banging against the wall so hard that it leaves marks and shakes the walls. Bones even gets particularly kinky at one point and starts spanking Jim so hard that his shouts can be heard miles away. And of course, they love every minute of it. If their neighbours want to be loud, well, two can play at that game.

They spend two hours going at it for real, and another hour just making noises and shaking the bed. By the time they're done, they've got their neighbours banging on the door in what seems like a reversed flashback to that first night they moved in.

Jim and Bones promised to keep it down during the day. It was a promise they were determined to break. It was a promise that they broke every day for weeks.

In desperation, their neighbours came round and had a nice sit-down chat with the couple. Both parties agreed to silence during specified hours, which meant that Jim and Bones finally got to sleep that night with no noise.

_Sometimes Jim's plans weren't all that bad_ , Bones thought right before he passed out to the silence of the San Francisco night.


End file.
